


Winner Takes All

by amidststars



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, First Meetings, Humor, Laser Tag, M/M, royed-tober2019, shameless flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:13:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21757360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amidststars/pseuds/amidststars
Summary: Roy cocked his head but didn't lower the gun. "Alright, then. Make me an offer I can't refuse, and I'll let you walk."All's fair in love and war. And laser tag.Especiallylaser tag.
Relationships: Edward Elric/Roy Mustang
Comments: 18
Kudos: 275





	Winner Takes All

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on October 28, 2019.
> 
> Hey guys, I had to delete all my old fics for personal reasons, so I'm in the process of reuploading under my new username. This is just a silly thing I wanted to do before tackling a longer fic and just so happened to work for Day 28 of the Roy/Ed-tober prompts: cutthroat! Somewhat inspired by a tumblr post with a few real life experiences thrown in.
> 
> A huge thank you to [SJ](https://attraversiamo19.tumblr.com) for the beta <3

Ed watched the kids darting around in front of the counter. Word in the break room was someone had booked one of the private rooms for a birthday party, so it had only been a matter of time before they made it past the arcade, the bowling lanes, and the rock climbing wall to discover the corner of the building designated for laser tag, which wouldn’t have been a problem except that the party was way larger than he expected. And Paninya and Winry had taken their mid-shift break right before the group arrived. And eighteen… no, nineteen kids was a hell of a lot for just him and Al to corral.

Also, one of the guys who’d come in with the kids was ridiculously good-looking, but that was beside the point.

Kind of.

Not really.

Because every time their eyes met across the room, the guy would offer this dazzling quirk of a grin, and Ed had enough trouble functioning like a normal human being without his stomach doing backflips, his breath catching, and his thoughts fritzing out to the point he had to count out the right amount of laser guns for the sixth time.

So yeah, maybe it was a bit of a problem. But in his defense, no one had any business going around looking like that.

Ed subtly scanned the guy from head to toe. He’d never seen anyone rock jeans and a t-shirt so well. The way they clung just right, emphasizing the most important parts but leaving just enough to the imagination. It should’ve been illegal. There were children around, for fuck’s sake. He was going to give them a daddy kink before they even knew what that was. Even his hair was nice, purposefully tousled, a few strands hanging into dark eyes that— were currently fixed on Ed _shit, fuck, shit_.

“Not a bad sight, huh?”

Ed jumped as Al joined him behind the counter. “What?” he asked and immediately cringed at how high-pitched his voice sounded.

“A group this big,” Al explained. “It’s good. Things were kind of slow there for a while, so I was hoping they’d show up. Time goes faster when we’re busy.” Arching a brow, he side eyed Ed. “What did you think I was talking about?”

“Nothing.”

“Or would _who_ would be more accurate?”

“Hardly.”

“You sure about that?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t believe that for a second. You only resort to one-word answers when you’re trying to be evasive,” Al said, flicking a couple switches to reset the fog machines and lights on the course. “Also, you’ve been making eyes at that guy back there for a while now, and he’s not exactly a bad sight either.”

Fucking hell.

Ed slapped his hands on the counter so hard a couple pens rolled off the front edge. “Okay first, no one says making eyes anymore. Second, I’m not checking anyone out. Third, you really need to stop pointing out hot guys to me. You’re my brother, it’s weird.”

“So you _do_ think he’s handsome.”

“Al!”

“Fine, fine.” Al huffed an exaggerated sigh and mimed zipping his lips. “Although, for the record, just because I’m in a relationship doesn’t mean I can’t objectively appreciate nice bone structure.”

“Don’t give me that bulls— uh, bologna,” Ed corrected at the last second, attention darting to the nearest kids to make sure none had noticed the almost-slip. “There’s nothing objective about it. You’re always trying to hook me up with someone.”

Wrinkling his nose, Al began gathering the activated equipment from beneath the counter. “Hooking up implies something temporary and filthy. I have much higher standards than that.”

Ed cocked his head, considering. Filthy wasn’t the problem. Sometimes filthy was nice. Temporary, though… that was where he kept getting hung up. Too many people in his life had come and gone for him to find relief in something fleeting. Trust was too important. If only handing it out wasn’t so god damn hard.

“I only do it because I love you, Brother,” Al said, bumping his shoulder.

Ed snorted. “Yeah, well, love me less because I’m not interested.” Even still, he reached out and ruffled Al’s hair to show there were no hard feelings. Not that Ed could ever hold anything against him in the first place. Everything Al did stemmed from good intentions. He didn’t have a malicious bone in his body.

“You should be. I’m an excellent judge of character. Much better than you.”

“Obviously.” Ed’s string of lousy boyfriends up to this point versus Al’s disgustingly cute relationship with May was proof enough. “But the answer’s still no.”

“If you say so,” Al said. There was an undertone to the words, though. A light, sing-song quality that made Ed instantly suspicious. He watched Al spin on his heel and all but prance off, arms full of vests and laser guns. “I’ll just start handing these out while you test that theory.”

Theory?

However, before Ed could ask what the hell that was supposed to mean, someone rapped their knuckles on the counter, and he found himself face to face with the unreasonably attractive guy from earlier. All that flowery crap people spewed about time standing still was a bunch of bullshit, but Ed did kind of… freeze. There wasn’t much else he could do in the wake of that thousand-watt smile.

“Hi,” the guy said, and of course his voice would sound like that, low and smooth as a shot of Crown.

Blinking, Ed reeled his eyebrows down out of his hairline, kicked the entirety of his mental capacity into action, and condensed every last one of his thoughts into a response that wouldn’t make him want to immediately crawl into a hole and die.

“Uh… hey.”

Admittedly, it wasn’t his best, but it could’ve been worse. When it came to Ed, things could always be worse.

Nevertheless, the guy’s smile widened, and he held out the pens that had fallen off the counter. “I think these belong to you.”

“Oh. Yeah.” Ah, the picture of eloquence. Ed tried not to cringe as he took the pens and returned them to a Disneyworld coffee mug bearing the name Alfonso – because that was as close as any gift shop souvenir came to Alphonse – that had been repurposed as their designated holder. “Thanks.”

“You’re more than welcome,” the guy said. “Is there anything we need to do before the game starts? Authorization forms? Liability waivers?”

 _An authorization form to wear those pants, maybe_ was the first thought that came to mind, but that was something that would probably get his hand slapped by HR.

“Not really,” Ed settled for instead. “All that paperwork you signed when you booked is pretty airtight. I’d still prefer no broken bones or dying, though. It would probably look bad on my performance review, and I could use the raise.”

The guy chuckled. “I’ll be sure to pass that on.”

“Thanks.” Ed typed a few numbers into the computer, then punched a button. The equipment Al was still distributing lit up either green or blue, and all the kids promptly squealed in excitement, some of them pretending to shoot each other. “Alright, there’s a max of twenty people on a team, so I’ve split the group in half. Once everyone is suited up, I’ll show a briefing that—”

“Can my dad play too?”

Trailing off abruptly, Ed stood on his tiptoes and peeked over the counter to the girl staring up at him. She was a study in contradictions. Pink ruffled skirt over skull and crossbones tights, self-proclaimed Birthday Girl tiara and scuffed converse, pigtails secured by black studded cuffs. He liked her already.

“If he wants to.” Ed glanced over, but the guy just shook his head and jabbed a thumb over his shoulder. Across the room, another man wearing glasses gave Ed a thumbs up.

“Uncle Roy, too? And Miss Riza?” the girl continued. “Oh, and can it be all of us against them?”

With a wink, Ed opened up the software again. “Sure thing, kid. Gang up and stick it to the man. I like the way you think.” He was about to start activating more vests when her face suddenly fell.

“I forgot Miss Riza always wins the shooting games at carnivals.” The girl turned to the guy now leaning on the counter, brows pinched in worry. “And you and Dad are tall enough to see over some of the obstacles. Maybe we shouldn’t…”

“How about this,” Ed cut in before she could talk herself out of it anymore. “I’ll be on your team. I’m an expert at laser tag. It’ll even the odds.”

The girl eyed him critically. “You’re an expert?”

“That’s right. You’re looking at the guy who single handedly won last year’s employee tournament.” Ed tapped a small laser gun pin affixed to the collar of his employee shirt. “I mean, how do you think I got this job? I had to take out the guy working here before me.”

“Awesome,” the girl breathed. “You hear that Uncle Roy? You’re totally going down.”

Ed fist bumped the girl over the counter before she disappeared back into the mess of other kids. They were all decked out and ready to go by that point. Over their heads, Al motioned to the TV in a silent question, but Ed held up a finger for him to wait. He needed to activate the new vests and reconfigure the teams before they started the video.

“That was nice of you.” The guy – Roy, apparently – slid down the counter so he could stand directly in front of Ed and propped his chin in one hand. “Although, you didn’t have to. Elicia’s a good kid. She would’ve been fine.”

Shrugging, Ed forced himself to focus on the task at hand instead of looking up. “It’s her birthday, she should get to do what she wants. And I like playing anyway, so it’s no big deal.”

“Clearly. Did you really get that for winning?” Roy asked, nodding to the pin.

“Nah, just bragging rights.” There might’ve been a coupon for a free burger and drink from the in-house diner too, but he couldn’t remember for sure anymore. The pin itself had come from some garage sale Winry had drug him to in search of cheap tools. “But don’t think I’m exaggerating. Elicia was right. You’re going down.”

“It certainly wouldn’t be the first time.”

Ed paused.

And blinked.

Was he…?

One of Roy’s eyebrows arched delicately as his crooked grin took on a suggestive edge, and— oh, okay, he _did_ mean it that way. Well. That was… well. At least Ed wasn’t just imagining things or reading into it too deeply. Also, holy shit, Roy needed to be careful where he aimed that smirk. Damn thing was a weapon in its own right.

Shaking his head, Ed huffed a laugh that fell somewhere between dumbfounded, nervous, and the slightest bit flattered. “Jesus,” he mumbled under his breath.

“No need for that. Just Roy, please.”

“Wow. Breaking out the big guns with that one, aren’t you? Is that the best you could come up with?”

“Sadly, yes. I’ve had a hard time concentrating since we arrived, so I’m not at the top of my game. You’re incredibly distracting.”

Ed snorted even as his neck grew warm. “Gross.”

“What?” Roy asked innocently. “I thought we were talking about your obvious proficiency at laser tag. It’s intimidating.”

“Uh huh, nice save.” With a wry look, Ed pulled out three additional vests. “Very cute.”

Roy’s smile only widened. “Yes. Very.”

And okay, that was more than just a little flattering. Ed cleared his throat as he attached the laser guns to the vests. Stuff like this didn’t exactly happen to him. Ever. Even if it had, Roy was on a whole different level. That undivided attention was doing unspeakably exciting things to Ed’s stomach, knees, and other… lower body parts that really didn’t need exciting while he was at work.

“Alright there, _Uncle_ Roy. You should probably rein that in a bit,” Ed said, jerking his chin towards the kids. “Innocent eyes and all.”

Technically, it was more for Ed’s benefit than anything else because his heart was currently weighing the pros and cons of going into cardiac arrest, but still. At least Roy didn’t seem offended, just straightened up off the counter, smile once again easy and light. “Of course. Later, perhaps.”

What a smooth fucker.

It wasn’t even fair.

To avoid saying something completely humiliating like _fuck yes, please and thank you_ , Ed cleared his throat again and more or less shoved the vests over the counter into Roy’s hands. “Right, well, these are for you. I’m just gonna…”

Ed waved a hand in the general direction of the TV, grabbed his own vest, and darted away. Stubborn might be his middle name, but even he knew that sometimes sacrifices had to be made, and right then, offering up his pride to the altar of self-preservation was a painful but necessary loss. There were over four hundred different shades of red paint at the local hardware store, and his face had likely hit every single one of them, plus a few that hadn’t even been concocted yet. That didn’t even get into the way his heart was pounding against the inside of his ribcage. Ed didn’t need to save face. He needed to get out of there before he spontaneously combusted.

Thankfully, Al didn’t call attention to his gay, quarter-life crisis when he walked up. There might have been a couple meaningful, sideways glances or a subtle elbow to his ribs when Roy joined the rest of the group while they played the briefing video, but Ed could handle that. Maybe. Fucking hell, who was he kidding? This was a disaster. He could only hope the game would serve as a decent distraction.

“Remember,” Ed said as he ushered the rest of his team to their designated door. “No pushing, kicking, or crying. The video said not to run, but we all know you’re going to do it anyway, so I’m going to draw the line at parkouring off the second floor. And don’t forget to be ruthless. Everyone’s a winner, but let’s be real… someone has to lose.”

Behind the counter, Al pressed a button, and the small screen above the door began counting down from ten.

“Ready?” Ed brandished his laser gun. “Go!”

The kids immediately took off in a stampede of yelling, laughing, and haphazard shooting, mostly at nothing in particular, although some were still trying to shoot each other. They really didn’t stand much of a chance on their own. It was a good thing they were up against adults planning to let them win.

As a prime example, someone on the opposing team darted across an opening not long after they’d entered the room. Whoever it was got off a couple shots, but the kids were quick to gang up, taking out the person through sheer numbers. The dad, if Ed had to guess. That half-pleading, half-laughing voice didn’t sound like Roy and certainly wasn't the woman.

Leaving him to his fate, Ed took one of the ramps to the second floor. Maybe he’d be able to take out someone sniper-style from up there. One of the fog machines was also on the fritz, so he’d be able to see better. However, that concept went both ways, and Ed had barely set foot on the landing when three shots rang out and the target on his right shoulder buzzed.

“Shit,” he muttered, making a beeline for the closest obstacle.

Ed ducked behind the plastic dome and crouched on the floor, waiting for his gun to reactivate. When it did, he crept along the line of barricades until he came to an enclosed tunnel that stretched across the next open area. Most adults couldn’t fit through it. Being smaller than average had its advantages, not that he’d ever admit it out loud.

“Nice shot,” Ed called out once he reached the other side. “You’re not the sharpshooter, though. Otherwise it wouldn’t have taken you so many shots. And the rest of the kids are going all Lord of the Flies on family man back there. That leaves…”

“The devastatingly handsome godfather?”

“I was going to say shameless flirt.” Ed paused for a moment, frowning. “Wait, I thought you were the uncle.”

A shadow slipped through the curling streams of fog up ahead, and Ed hurried forward, being sure to stay low. _Gotcha_ , he thought as a fresh dose of adrenaline fueled the excitement. There was a dead end a little to the right. If Ed trapped Roy in there, he'd be able to shoot to his heart’s content and keep him frozen for the rest of—

Ed’s vest buzzed again, this time with a direct hit to the chest piece.

“And I thought you were the expert,” Roy teased. “What’s wrong? Met your match?”

Cursing under his breath, Ed scanned his surroundings, trying to figure out where Roy was hiding. “More like beginner’s luck."

Ed zigzagged through a maze of blockades, then army crawled onto a raised platform to get a better view. Poking his head over the edge, he caught the briefest glimpse of blue before a series of shots found his shoulder target yet again.

“What the hell?” he growled, rolling off the platform to safety.

"You might want to watch that mouth."

Equal parts frustrated and amused, Ed worked his way towards Roy's voice. "Come on, that wasn't bad."

"I don't know," Roy said not far to his left. Ed was getting closer now. "I distinctly remember the video saying to keep it clean."

"Well, there's no kids up here, so how's _fuck you_ for keeping it clean?"

"Depends. Is that an offer? Because that can be arranged.”

Ed barked out a laugh despite himself. “Oh my god, you _are_ shameless.”

They continued to stalk each other, eventually maneuvering their way into one of the room's corners. Fighting in close quarters was difficult, but it also effectively ended whatever advantageous position Roy had. Ed began to spot flickers of blue through the obstacles and even landed a couple shots by slithering beneath a partition to catch Roy unaware. He was just about to take a shortcut that would lead to where he thought Roy was so he could sneak up from behind when he felt a firm prod against his back.

"Busted."

Ed could hear the smirk in Roy's voice even before he lifted his hands in surrender, slowly turned, and saw it for himself. "I gotta admit, you're better than I expected."

"You can just say you're impressed," Roy said.

"Curious is what I am." Eyeing the gun pressed to the target on his chest, Ed arched one brow. "You're not really going to risk making Elicia lose on her birthday just to beat me, are you?"

"It's never too early to learn that life isn't fair."

Ed whistled. "Cutthroat. I like it."

"I'd also be dethroning the reigning champ," Roy continued, pressing just enough to begin walking Ed backwards. "Your reputation is at stake here too."

Ed's breath caught when his back connected with the barricade, mind whiting out. Being trapped and held at gunpoint shouldn't have been so fucking hot. Then again, most guys didn't look even a fraction as good as Roy, and the little power play thing they had going on wasn't helping. It was hard to think of anything around the static buzz of _holy fucking shit_ , but he somehow cleared enough mental space to issue a sarcastic snort.

"That honestly doesn't count for much leverage," Ed said. "Still, I can't let you do that to Elicia. Not after I promised to help her win."

Roy cocked his head but didn't lower the gun. "Alright, then. Make me an offer I can't refuse, and I'll let you walk."

Jesus Christ, was Roy _trying_ to kill him?

Narrowing his eyes in mock consideration, Ed finally jerked his chin to the right. "There's a pack of Juicy Fruit gum in my back pocket. Brand new. Not even opened yet."

Roy's mouth twitched. "You can do better than that."

"Better than Juicy Fruit? Damn, you're ruthless," Ed lamented. "Fine, you can take my wallet too. I don't have any cash, but there is a picture of my brother holding eight cats in it. You could sell it to Hallmark for their cat-themed calendar. Just don’t tell him I gave it away without a fight.”

"Is that all a seven year old's happiness is worth?" Tutting in disappointment, Roy steadied his finger on the gun's trigger. "Might as well just—"

"Okay, okay! How about two thousand tickets from the arcade? Elicia could cash them in at the prize counter for pretty much anything she wants. You'd be godfather-uncle of the year."

Roy’s smile broke out in full force as he dipped his head and chuckled. Fuck, he looked good, everything from the playful gleam of his eyes to that knee-weakening grin to the way his sleeve hugged a toned bicep. Which didn’t really account for the other roughly two-thirds of his body, but it was an exceptionally nice bicep, and Ed had already ogled the rest of him earlier, so he had an idea.

Thing was, he seemed even nicer as a person. Those pickup lines could’ve come off wrong from just about anyone else, but for all the forwardness, there was nothing skeevy about Roy. He was handsome and flirtatious, yes, but all of that was layered over an undercurrent of sincerity that rang true. He was genuine. The real fucking deal.

He was also somehow interested in Ed, of all fucking people, and that simple fact made the attraction that had been simmering since Roy first walked through the door and met his eyes boil over hard and fast and undeniable.

“As tempting as that is,” Roy said, “I was actually thinking more along the lines of—”

Ed popped up on his toes, smoothly cutting off the rest of the sentence with a kiss. The gun pressed uncomfortably into his chest, but he couldn't bring himself to care. There were more important things to take in, like the muscles beneath the hand he'd braced on Roy's chest for balance, the way Roy tasted like the chocolate mints management handed out for free at the sign-in desk, and the pleased sound he hummed into the space between them when Ed pulled back.

Roy took a deep breath, tongue darting out across lips curled in a soft smile. “I was going to say your number."

“Oh,” Ed whispered.

That made… infinitely more sense. Not that he regretted the impulsive decision – well, he would if it ended up in a report to HR, because if the pants comment would’ve gotten his hand slapped, an unwanted kiss would get him down and out fired – but he probably should’ve considered other, less physical alternatives first. Roy wasn’t complaining, though. Or looking at him in disgust. Or backing away. All in all, that seemed like a win in Ed’s book.

“You can have that too,” he offered, smoothing the wrinkles from the front of Roy’s shirt before lowering his hand. “If you want. As a consolation prize.”

"I'd like that very much. Although I suppose I'm getting a little ahead of myself. I don't even know your name."

“It’s Ed.”

“Ed," Roy repeated, and the way he said it made Ed thankful for the barricade at his back since it was probably the only thing keeping him upright.

Both of their guns chose that moment to signal the five minute warning for the end of the game. The beeping, along with the sound of the kids finally flooding the second floor, brought a bit of clarity, and Ed used it to force his thoughts into some semblance of order. He might not be the best at… whatever this was, but no one could say he didn’t know how to get his point across. So it was with a grin of his own that he batted Roy’s gun out of the way, leaned forward to kiss him one more time, and promptly shot him. Then Ed called out to the rest of the kids, alerting them to his and Roy’s location for good measure.

“Who’s the cutthroat now?” Roy laughed, stepping back to a more acceptable distance as the kids began to stream into the area, guns blazing.

"That’s what you get for letting your guard down.” Ed shrugged nonchalantly, but followed it up with a wink. “I won’t forget that you let me win, though. Meet me in the lobby if you still want that consolation prize.”

“Sounds like a date.”

Ed turned on his heel and retreated, leaving Roy to the mercy of the kids.

A date, huh?

He sure as hell hoped so.


End file.
